It has been awhile since I have written on here. I have been swept away in the literary world and cannot seem to pull myself away!
First Two Chapters of Sustain
Tijan has kindly shared and allowed me to share the first two chapters of Sustain, the third book in the Broken and Screwed series.
Please note that this has not been fully edited and may change before it is published.
CHAPTER ONE
Working at The Normandy was one thing, but studying there at night was preposterous. It wasn’t my first choice, but instead of spending my Thursday evening earning some money at the college bar, I was trying to cram whatever last scraps of information I could into my brain before our chemistry test the next day. The study group of twenty was stuck in the middle of all the action. Large television screens took up one entire wall with more mounted in the corners around the place. There was a dance floor. There was a dj booth. There were couches, pool tables, hockey tables, even some foosball tables. There was even a kitchen on one side of the bar to get any type of food dipped in grease. People had to go and line-up to put their order in, one thing I loved about the bar when I showed up, asking for a job.
I’ve been tending bar for a long time, longer than it was legal for me to do, but a year and a half ago I quit at The Jukebox. It was dive bar, but known in Grant West as the band bar. If someone wanted their band to get noticed, they tried to play there. Their reputation was stellar. It was where a lot of the scouts came for labels or agents looking to pick up a new client. It was where my brother’s band, Sustain, got their first notice before they went onto global stardom. I should know. I was the one who organized the entire thing, but that was before I decided to go the normal route.
Dropping my last name, my ex-boyfriend got me a fake passport, social security card, and drivers’ license with my new name. Brielle Collins. It wasn’t original. I picked up my middle name, but that got me into the school. Paying everything out of pocket was expensive and when I scouted the campus, I got my lucky break. The manager at this bar was an old friend, someone who owed me a bunch of favors. Dustin agreed to give me a job and I would get paid in cash. The less of a paper trail the better, and no it’s not because I’m some criminal. It’s because if anyone knew who I was, my life as a normal girl would be over.
“Douchebag!” someone shrieked behind me, following that up with a giggle. A masculine grunt sounded next as he replied, “Oh, you like that.”
She giggled some more. Score one for the douchebag.
“Ugh.” The girl next to me threw them a glare after they bumped into her chair. “We’re studying here.”
“Oh.” More giggling and the guy tried to apologize, “My bad.” His friend whispered, “It was your fault too.” Again. More giggles.
Once more—studying at the Normandy was preposterous.
Checking my phone, I had two more hours before I had to go to my second job, the one I hadn’t quit because people there kept their mouths shut. They were mostly older nurses and nurse aides and they had been working with me since I was sixteen. They worked with my mother as well and the few students who got a job at the nursing home never became my friend. That was how I kept my two lives separate. Brielle Collins who went to school at Grant West University and the one who worked at The Normandy had no friends. I was never chatty with anyone and if I did have to talk to them, like now during a study group, no pleasantries were exchanged. Dustin was my one friend at college and he was too scared of me to socialize. The other girl, Brielle Masterson, sister to Braden Masterson, the esteemed drummer for Sustain, that girl had a few friends but still kept to herself. It wasn’t a great life, but it was real. I’d gotten too sick of the fake people who only befriended me to get to my brother. And the other way I kept everything separate? No facebook. No Instagram. No twitter. No anything else that was considered social media. I had email and I used the internet for school. That was it. It was old school, but it worked for me.
What else worked for me? Silence. I needed it to be quiet when I studied. I was ready to slice someone if I heard one more giggle from the douchebag’s future-one-night-bag.
“Oh, William, you’re so big.” The same girl gasped in an awed whisper this time.
That was it. Decision made. I didn’t want to go to jail so I reached for my bag and stood up. A few of my study group gave me startled looks, but I didn’t give a damn. Hadn’t been friendly while we were studying, wasn’t going to be now. I was almost to the door when the music suddenly stopped. My hand touched the door handle to open it when I heard, “This is Derek Starr from KGBLN103 and guess who we have in the studio?” He leaned closer to the microphone. “That’s right, folks. They’re back from the last worldwide tour. This is your last stop before home, right, guys?”
I let go of the door.
Someone answered, “Yes, it is.”
I closed my eyes. My hand shook. No words were said, no names had been told, but I knew that voice. I knew that voice more than I knew my own.
I was definitely leaving now.
“It’s Sustain, everyone! That’s right, the global superstars are in the studio with us this evening.”
There was one nanosecond of silence. Only one nanosecond and then the screams erupted all around the Normandy. If a person went to Grant West University and they didn’t know the local connections from Sustain, that person was a social hermit like myself. Everyone knew.
“Luke, tell us about the tour and what’s next for the band?”
More excited squeals erupted.
“Our plans are a two week vacation before the festival,” Luke’s voice silenced the room. His smooth tenor had the same magical effect when he spoke as when he sang to thousands in an arena. They were spellbound, but that was Luke. He had charisma up the ass. Three years ago I would’ve added the comment of ‘what a fine ass it was too,’ but that was three years ago. I wasn’t that girl, but I still couldn’t say anything about his ass. The room spoke for it. They all wanted to pounce on it.
“And by festival, you mean the Grant Festival in your home town?” The deejay continued, “You guys started that festival two years ago and it’s grown tremendously, hasn’t it?”
“Yeah,” my brother spoke next.
A quick grin came to my face, but I had to stop it. The less I showed, the better.
Braden added, “We started it so that the local bands could be spotlighted. There’s some great bands in Grant West, but the response from everyone was huge.”
“Yeah, yeah.” The deejay’s excitement grew. “It’s phenomenal now. You guys have artists like Kara and Money coming.”
“Yeah and bands like FordPlay, Crisis of Junction.” Braden’s excitement grew as well. “We heard today that Jory committed too.”
“That band is huge. Well,” the deejay reigned himself in. “They’re not as big as you guys. I don’t think anyone is as big as you guys right now.”
Luke chuckled, “Right now is the key term.”
“Whatever.” Braden had leaned even closer to the microphone. “We’ll take it. This is our glory days right now.”
“It certainly is,” the deejay chuckled. “I’ve heard you guys have some new music coming out soon. That’s not normal. Bands usually have to rest for awhile after their tours.”
“We’re not normal.”
“No, you guys certainly aren’t. I believe, Luke, you wrote this song, didn’t you?”
Luke spoke, “Yes. I wrote it on tour when we were flying to Tokyo.”
“And you recorded it just like that?”
“Just like that.”
My heart stopped, only for a second. I could hear the smile in his voice. Taking a deep breath, there was no way I could go anywhere without hearing this song. He was proud of it. It meant something to him.
“All right. Without further ado, here’s the latest and greatest from Sustain, folks. Luke, do you want to give them the name of the song?”
“Sure. Everyone, here is Silence.”
A small bubble burst up inside of me at that title. The one word was all it took. I was floored and then the music began and his soft voice came next. It was like he was singing straight to me as I heard the words,
“Voices all around me. People saying this, meaning that. None of them know
None of them understand
All I need is some silence beside me, right beside me
All I need is you, you’re the silent one who never needs
You never demand
You never bargain
You never need, but I do. I need
And I need what only you can give, is your silence—”
Luke wasn’t singing to me, but that was the power he had over most of the female population. They all felt he was singing to them. Grabbing my bag, I pushed through the door and darted down the stairs. I didn’t want sit around and hear all of them gush over the new song. They’d be gushing over it for the next year. That song was going to top the charts, like a lot of their other songs.
They weren’t even home and I was already sick of them.
“Yeah, they’ll probably be at Red Dawgs tonight even.”
Going through the last set of doors to the outside, the cool air didn’t shock me as much as hearing another voice I recognized. He was standing on the other side of the post and a puff of smoke floated in the air. I rolled my eyes, but heard two girls ask, “You think so? Seriously? Sustain’s coming tonight?”
“Oh yeah. Definitely. They hang out at the bar all the time.”
“How do you know that?” The second girl was breathless.
Another puff of smoke floated up before he replied, “I grew up with them.”
The first one gasped. “You did?”
“Since we were little. Emerson’s one of my best friends.”
“And they hang out at Red Dawgs?”
The second girl grew more cautious. “What is that?”
“It’s a bar, a little dive bar, but they hang out there all the time.”
“Erica,” the first one hissed. “Who cares? Sustain might be there.”
He added after taking another drag on his cigarette, “They play there too sometimes.”
That was enough to seal the deal. Both of them squealed and then ran off. The first one waved over her shoulder as I stepped around the post. She shouted back, “Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.”
Her friend caught her hand and urged her to go faster. “Come on, Tess. We have to change.”
They both shrieked as they disappeared around a building. Then I turned with my eyebrow arched high and took in the sight. Elijah grinned at me. A corner of his lip curved up and he ground out his cigarette before lighting another one. He was leaning against the post. Baggy jeans that had the ends torn, a black tee shirt with one gaping hole in the side. It gave a peak at the tattoo he had put on his lanky body long ago. It was a weaving pattern of lines that formed an image of a gun from far away. When the tattoo was inspected closely the lines were made by a form of script from another language. Elijah never told me that language, but I never asked. That had been one of the reasons we were friends from childhood until four years ago. Neither of us enjoyed talking.
He straightened now after taking a second drag from his cigarette. “Heya, Bria.”
I bared my teeth at him. “It’s Bri or Brielle. No Bria anymore.”
“No?” His eyebrow went up.
“No.”
“That’s too bad.” I could tell he didn’t care as his grin only widened.
I gestured in the direction of the two girls. “What are you doing here and what are you doing telling those girls about Red Dawgs? Luke and Braden will never step in foot in that bar.”
His grin flashed into a full-fledged one before he shoved one hand into his jean’s pocket. “I wasn’t lying about everything. Emerson is my best friend.”
“Because you were his drug dealer once and he’s hoping you’ll start selling again.”
He shrugged. “Don’t matter, but I know those girls are going to tell their whole floor and the rumor will spread all over campus that Sustain hangs out at my bar.”
Of course. It was making sense now. “You spread the rumor so that you’ll get more customers.” I shook my head. “I shouldn’t even be surprised.” It was ingenious and something Elijah would do when he saw the opportunity. “Is that why you’re here? To spread that rumor? You’re the new manager there, aren’t you?” He’d been security before that.
He stood over me at six feet, and his green eyes narrowed as he saw something I wished he hadn’t. Elijah was like that. He fooled a lot of people. They perused him at a quick glance, saw his skinny frame, pretty-boy looks, and dismissed him as anything except threatening. That was always their mistake. He might’ve always wore an easy grin, but he could be lethal and a genius. He could also read me how only three other people in the world could.
“I came here to check on you,” he murmured, still studying me intently.
I tensed. I didn’t ask why. He had heard the interview on the radio. “How’d you know I was here?” The only person who knew I had a job on campus was my mother and there was no way she had told. Elijah helped me get into school, but that was it. He wouldn’t know the rest. It had been a favor I cashed in. Things were still tense between us and I knew I had never been chatty with him.
He shrugged again, finishing his cigarette and returning to his deceptive relaxed state. Elijah was never relaxed. “I might know someone who knows someone who knows you.”
“Bullshit.”
A smooth chuckle came from him. “It’s true. I know you’re all anti-social here and don’t want anyone to know you’re Braden’s sister, but there were a few people who do know you.”
I didn’t believe him, but I shook my head. This was typical Elijah. He wasn’t going to give me a straight answer. “So you really came to check on me?”
“Yeah.”
There it was. I heard the soft undertone in his voice. He’d been telling me the truth. “You don’t have to check on me. I’m not going to fall apart.”
“He’s coming back to town.”
“So?” I glared even though I wasn’t feeling it. “And you don’t know if he actually is coming. His dad lives in Los Angeles now. He moved out to help with their last album. If they have vacation, Luke won’t come here, he’ll go there.”
“He’ll come here.” There was that same soft tone from Elijah.
My glare wasn’t forced this time. He didn’t need to be concerned. “Stop it, Eli. Luke and I are friends. That’s all we’ve ever been. This is all for nothing.”
He laughed and shoved his free hand into his other jean’s pocket. Wearing a black sweatshirt, he pulled the hood so only his pretty-boy face was seen. His green eyes narrowed for a second, but then I saw him decide against something. He shrugged again. “To each their own, I suppose.” He began walking past me towards the car lot.
I waited.
Then he turned around and walked backwards. He winked at me, “Whatever you have to say to make sure you sleep at night, but we both know why you broke up with me all those years ago.”
I rolled my eyes, but he had already turned back around. I raised my voice, “I dumped you because you sold drugs.”
He kept going, but lifted a hand in the air for a casual wave. Then he began jogging across the road into the next lot. Even though he couldn’t see, I flicked him off before I headed in the opposite direction. For that night, I wished that I was going to work at The Jukebox again. Bar fights always broke out there. I could’ve used a good old-fashioned one. There was some energy I needed to work off.
CHAPTER TWO
When I pulled in our driveway after a half shift that night and headed inside, I hadn’t even cleared the gate around our yard before I saw him. Standing with his back towards me was Luke Skeet. A guitar rested on his back with the strap across his chest. He was holding his arms out for something from someone still inside.
I had two seconds to savor this moment.
Oh hell. He looked good.
Lean build. Trim waist. Slightly defined shoulders. He wore what he always wore growing up. Jeans that hung a little low from his waist, but not low enough for most females’ appreciation. He had a nice six pack under there. I couldn’t see it where I stood, but I knew it was there. He was blessed with great genetics. He barely exercised and maintained all those muscles. The simple tee shirts he wore accentuated the curves of his shoulder blades. The shirt was pressed against his back now as his arms were in front of him, waiting, so I could see how his back was still sculpted even around the guitar. He wasn’t too muscular, but his lean frame was mouth-watering.
“Here, mate.” Braden’s voice sounded from the opened doorway. “Take these to the truck. We can come later for the rest or see if Bri will bring them .”
That was my brother. It’d been a year and he was here. I must’ve let out some sound because both turned to me. Luke’s grey eyes widened a fraction of an inch, but I couldn’t look at him, not just yet. Focusing on my brother, I was surprised to see the shaggy black hair was gone. It had been buzzed down, but it showcased his dark eyes and dimples even more. Shit. I was taken aback at Braden’s transformation. Everyone gushed over his good looks before, but he looked like model material now. My days of being the pretty twin were over. A bright smile lit up his face and he jumped around Luke to run to me. I hadn’t taken one step forward before he caught me in his arms and lifted me in the air. Twirling me around, I felt him breathe into my neck. He hugged me as tight as I was hugging him. “Brielle.”
I wound my arms around his neck and clasped onto him. I didn’t want to let go. There were tears in my eyes, but I didn’t care. Snot could’ve been hanging from my nose and it wouldn’t have mattered at all. No matter what problem, no matter who hurt us, it was Braden and me. Always. I couldn’t talk for a moment. The tears had moved into my throat and they were choking me. I held on tighter. It was all I could do at that moment.
Skimming my hand over his buzz cut, I asked once he let me go, “When did this happen? You never said anything about it.”
His hand replaced mine and he ran it briskly over his hair before letting it drop to his side. “You don’t like it?”
“No. You’re prettier than me now.”
A side of his mouth curved up and he winked. “Bri, I’ve always been the hot twin. Just never told you. I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”
I hit his bicep, laughing, but he bent and wrapped an arm around my waist. “Braden!” Lifting me in the air, he maneuvered me so I was bent around him. One arm went around my legs and the other went around my shoulders. I was horizontal to the ground now and once the breath came to me, I tried punching him in the air. Hard. “Put me down.”
“No way.” He began moving in a circle.
“Braden!” Oh god. I closed my eyes as he sped up. “You’re going to make me sick.”
“That’s the point.”
Shit. The vomit was starting—“Braden, if you don’t put me down I will grab your nuts and rip them off.”
I was dropped the next second.
Oomph. My shoulder hit the ground first, but I rolled away. It was just like Braden to grab somewhere else, somewhere I couldn’t hit his groin and he could still torment me. When I stood, he’d been bending for my feet. Fucker. I rammed my foot up into his face. His eyes went wide, but he ducked in time and jumped back. “Bri!”
“Don’t do that shit,” I growled. Then my stomach growled again. Oh god. I was still going to throw up. Flinging my hand out, I tried to grab for the fence. It was somewhere behind me, but I couldn’t find it. I was going to fall again. I was so damn dizzy, but someone grabbed my arm. The world was steady again.
I was thankful in one second and tormented in the next. That hand had been etched in my memory for years. Luke was watching me under his eyelids. The old intensity was there in his grey eyes. I wanted to move away. I needed to, but my feet weren’t moving. No part of my body was going. There went my control. My body was staying. It knew where it wanted to be and my brain wasn’t moving it.
Braden was glaring and grinning at the same time. The grin won out. He threw his head back and started laughing. “I should’ve flown you out over the past year. Why the hell didn’t I?”
He started coming for me, but I held my hand out. “You stay there.”
He did. The same wicked grin was still there. “Missed you, sis.”
The world was still spinning around me and my stomach wanted to upheave. I groaned, “Missed you too.”
“Bri,” our mother spoke from the house. She had stepped through the open doorway in a robe. Tugging it tighter around her, she said, “Braden and Luke said something about a welcome home party. Do you work tomorrow at the nursing home?”
I nodded. The world had stopped spinning, but Luke’s hand was so welcoming.
“I’ll cover for you.” She gestured to a large truck in the driveway. “You go out with the guys tonight.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Go.” She gave me a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry. Shelly mentioned wanting a double shift. She’s on tonight. I can give her a call to see if she’ll take it.”
“And if she doesn’t?”
“Then I’ll work it for you. Go and have fun with your brother. Say hi to your cousin too.”
Emerson. Who was probably going to Red Dawgs, where Elijah worked, who Braden and Luke would not be happy hearing about. I was tempted to stay home and keep my shift at work. I sighed as I thought about that conversation.
“What’s wrong?” The quiet question came from beside me. He had spoken so no one else heard.
I shrugged. “It’s nothing.”
Braden went to hug our mother.
“You still twitch when you lie.”
“Don’t make me rip your nuts off either,” I warned, though my heart had sped up at the reminder from him. In some ways Luke knew me better than my brother, better than Elijah too. A slight surge of panic came over me. They were here for two weeks. I wasn’t going to be able to handle it.
He laughed, the sound of it was intimate and intoxicating. I found myself swaying closer to him.
He murmured, his breath teasing my skin, “You look good, Brielle.”
Oh god. The way he said my name. I felt doused with ecstasy.
Pulling me closer to him, he bent his head so I felt his breath against my lips. “I’d like to talk to you about some things. Can we talk later?”
About what? The slight twinge of panic had increased, but I nodded. “Sure.”
“You ready, Bri?”
Braden had gone to the black truck. The door was open and he was standing on the foot step. Carla had gone inside. As I glanced at the house, the kitchen light turned off. Then Luke released my hand and moved away. I shivered from the absence of his warmth, but gritted my teeth. Goddammit. I wasn’t going that route. Again.
“Bri?”
I clipped my head in a nod. “Yeah. Coming.”
Luke went to the front passenger door and Braden gestured to the backseat. “Climb in. Don’t be afraid of Hank.”
“Hank?”
Hank was a big guy. As I got comfortable in my seat, I couldn’t stop staring. He was really huge. His shoulders were scrunched forward and his legs wouldn’t fit behind Luke’s seat. His left leg was in my space. Shit. Giving me a tentative grin, he ducked his bald head down and tried to fit better in his seat. I didn’t know how he could. He was too big for the entire truck. Since this truck was on bigwheels, I wondered how big this guy really was.
“Hank’s our muscle,” Braden answered my unspoken question as he reversed out of our driveway. “Say hi, Hank.”
“Hi.”
“Bri, say hi back.”
I lifted a hand in a wave.
He waved back before looking away.
“You guys have muscle now?”
“Yeah, Peter wants us to have security. We told him that we didn’t need any in Grant. It’s our home town and we don’t go anywhere mainstream anymore, but he wouldn’t drop it. So Hank gets a free vacation for two weeks. You hear that, Hank?” Braden said to him, “You get to party with the rest of us.”
He didn’t respond.
The dude was scary. I’d been privy to a few events where the crowds went nuts for Sustain, but I agreed with my brother this time. When the last time things got crazy in Grant West? Then I remembered everyone’s reactions at the Normandy during their interview. “Don’t go to the college.”
Braden laughed. “Not planning on getting an education yet, sis. One day maybe, but not today.”
“So where are we going?” If they weren’t going mainstream that meant the little dive bars or private homes. “The Shack?”
Luke glanced back at me.
I tried to ignore the feeling of being burned by his gaze.
“Emerson said he was headed to Red Dawgs.” He narrowed his eyes as he saw my reaction. I was biting down on my lip. “We thought we’d go there for a little and then head to the Shack.”
“No. Don’t do that.”
“Why?” both Braden and Luke asked.
“No reason.” I scoffed at myself. I was being stupid. “Okay, you’re going to be pissed, but Elijah works at Red Dawgs now.”
“What? I thought he was at Club T.”
“He got fired.”
“What?” Braden bit out as he kept driving. “Did they catch him trying to sell drugs?”
It was the opposite, but I didn’t say anything. Braden and Luke wouldn’t believe me anyway, hell, even I didn’t believe it at times. “He’s manager at Red Dawgs now and he put out the rumor tonight you guys would be there.”
“He did what?”
“Yeah, so if you want to hide from the crowds, don’t go there.”
Luke cursed. “Emerson’s going to be skinned alive.”
Braden didn’t respond, but he asked, “Hank, you want us to drop you off? You should go in and see if he needs help.”
Hank nodded.
“People are going to see you in the truck,” I pointed out. “It won’t matter if you stay in the truck or how big it is. They’ll still swarm.”
“Windows are tinted. I got a special permit for them. No one will see us.”
He was right. When we went there, a group that was smoking outside watched the truck, but the line of girls waiting to get in didn’t give us a second look.
Luke shook his head. “Didn’t know Red Dawgs was the place to be in Grant West anymore.”
Braden grunted. “Think we can thank Elijah for using our name.”
Pulling into the parking lot, Braden started to park towards the front, but I saw the back door. Correction. I saw who was next to the back door. Hitting his seat, I told Braden, “Pull to the back.”
Elijah was standing outside having a smoke. A girl was pressed against his front. She had his shirt lifted up and was pressing kisses down his chest as he watched, still smoking. When our truck lingered, he watched us instead, but nothing changed in his demeanor. I rolled my window down and called out, “Is my cousin in there?”
A lazy grin came over him. He knew who else was in the truck with me. “That’s a new ride for you, Brielle.”
“Shut it, Eli. Where’s my cousin?”
He took a long drag off his cigarette before blowing it out. “E’s getting some action right now. Leave him be. He’ll come along when he’s ready.”
Braden growled and started to roll his window down.
“No, Bray,” I stopped him. “Elijah wants to piss you off. He wants you to show your face cause that girl will freak out and tell. That’ll only help his bar.” I rolled my window back up. “What do you guys want to do?”
Luke and Braden shared a look. We were at a loss. Emerson wasn’t the easygoing type. If he said he was going to do something or stay somewhere, he did. He didn’t care about the consequences. Then Luke turned to Hank. “You stay here. Bring him when he’s ready.”
The big guy clipped his head in a nod and then climbed out of the truck. As he stepped down, the truck moved with him, going down an inch. When he cleared and stood on the ground, the entire truck lifted back up an inch.
He started around the truck. His pants had moved down an inch, showing a good patch of ass crack, but he pulled them back up and pulled his black shirt down to cover everything. I knew the girls would be thankful inside.
Rolling my window back down, I told Elijah, “Let him in. He’s security for my cousin.”
As Hank walked past him, Elijah saluted him with his cigarette. I expected a smart reply from him, but for once, my drug dealer ex-boyfriend remained quiet. When he met my gaze again, I saw the hidden message in his depths. He jerked his gaze to the front of the truck.
I shrugged. He was asking if I was alright. The truth was that I didn’t know.
He frowned, but the silent conversation was done. The girl went back to kissing farther down his chest. His free hand went to cradle the back of her head and Braden gunned the engine, tearing away from Red Dawgs.
When my window had been raised and I leaned back in my seat, I was startled. Luke was staring right at me in the rearview mirror, and he didn’t look happy. He was pissed
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